A child was born into this world never knowing her fate

At 4 years old her father died

She'll never realize how great

That this will come to leave a scar

On her life she'll come to hate

Her brother was 12 years older than her

As a man she looked up to him

He was never really there for her though

He was always partying with his friends

At 13 years old for the very first time

She learned what it felt like to love

7 months later he had broke her heart

And with that she wanted to give up

Although if she had ever truly known

Where the next road would lead her to

She would have been more careful

And realize the tears before she had cried were few

Compared to what she was about to go through

At the beginning she would have thought twice

She never would have thought she would turn into someone

Actually considering to end her own life

She had met a boy who captured her heart

Not like the ones before

Even when she had given him everything she could give

She only tried to give him more

She looked at this boy through loving eyes

For in her heart he could do no wrong

He had promised her that they would last forever

And she never doubted that they wouldn’t go on

She confided in him, had faith in him and to her he was "her angel"

But who would have known what he would put her through, no one ever thought he was capable

Of promising a girl who had already been hurt so many times before

That he was different, he wasn't go anywhere and every day he only loved her more

As days went by things started to get rough

In like most relationships they do

But she was scared and wanted to end it

But she knew deep down it wasn't true

She thought that this is what she wanted

But she knew she was making a mistake

She said she was sorry, wanted one more chance

But her apologizes he would not take

Looking back and remembering

The night they said goodbye

You'll never have any idea what it's like

To have the strength to try

To tell the person that you're in love with

All the things you wanted him to know

In 15 minutes taking him back to his house

And then having to let him go

Try holding the person that is your world

As you tell him all the things

You wanted to show and prove to him

In a lifetime what you mean

Looking back on a time they were laying there

Quietly in the dark

She spoke the words she never knew how true

They came straight from her heart

She said "If there ever comes a day that you're not here

Then I don't want to be either"

After days and days of being without him

"Not wanting to be here" and doing something about it sounded easier

For 5 long months she tried for him

She was there for him no matter what

But he avoided her, said hurtful words

And in the end said "you're not who I want"

She made a promise to herself

That she'll stop living on "remember when..."

Because the person she once loved is gone

And she can't bring him back again

She was tired of all the promises

Which were broken the very next day

If he was to love her like he said he did

He would have proven it to her someway

He made excuses for not being able to be with her right away

His family disapproved, it would be too hard and what would his friends have to say

She realizes that there is no excuse for not being able

To be with the one you love

If you believed in something with all of you heart

Then your heart wouldn't let you give up

She tried to give him everything

Although to him it was never enough

So she hopes one day he'll find the one

Who can give him what he wants

She had promised to never give up on him

And in doing so, she felt she was wrong

It's just that she have been through enough for him

And he'd played games with her heart for too long

She hoped that for whatever reason he was doing this

Was worth watching her walk away

Because her love that he took for granted

He might just miss someday

When his world comes crashing down around him

And no one is there to go to

He'll remember the times that she always came back, after he pushed her away, no matter what he put her through

She has finally accepted he isn't coming back

The distance between them will stay

But it doesn't mean that "they" never happened

And her heart is breaking just the same

She misses the times she could go to him

Hold him and hear him say

"I love you, you're beautiful, I'll be here and I swear

I'm never going away..."

She misses the times she had watched him sleep

And even with that she cried

She never realized she could love someone so much

And how it could all just be a lie

And in his living room a picture hung

The picture was of a little boy

Who would have thought from that innocent picture

A life he'd come to destroy

Every time she would stand and stare

At this little innocent freckled face

Who would have thought that in the future

One day he'd be gone without a trace

The only thought that came to her mind

As she stared intrigued at this person

Was she wanted a little boy of her own

With that same face, sometime in the future

Those same little eyes, the same little smile

Like him, she wanted him to look

But now the little boy she wanted

Her little Tyler Joseph Cook

Will never be here, will only be a memorie

Of what she once wanted as a child

She convinced herself just having such a dream

Makes the idea of "him" worth while

Because not only did this guy she loved take her dreams

Of him and her away

He also took the dream of their little boy

That they may have had one day

With every guy she has come to love

She has watched him go away

And to watch the person she was in love with do the same

Almost made her insane

How could God put someone in your life to care for this deep

Only to take him away and leave you once again alone

Even the thought of what "once was" makes it hurt for her to breathe

Throughout everything she had one friend

Who stayed by her side no matter what

Sometimes she wonders if this beautiful girl

Had kept her from really giving up

On a life to her that seemed not worth living

Or waking up the next day

It was her friend that she would always run to

And listened to what she would say

She wants this girl to know from her heart

That what she's done will forever be remembered

Ashley, you are truly like my sister

And our friendship will forever be treasured

There was also this guy who fell in love

Just the same as her

A girl had broken his heart several times

But together they would endure

Going back to these people again and again

Trying for the ones they loved

And no matter how they were treated in return

Because of love, they never gave up

Josh I want you to know from my heart

That you are truly like my brother

You have no idea what you mean to me

As a man, you are like no other

Unfortunately you know what's it like to be

Hurt time and time again

I love you, thank you for everything

You will forever be my loving friend

Two other girls I have to tell you

How much you mean to me

You are also loved and like my sisters

I love you Erin and Brandi

Erin I've known you since I was old enough

To even begin to learn about love

And what you've taught me will always be remembered

I believe you also were sent from above

Brandi we've had so many good times

And also so many times you've been hurt

I don't understand why all the beautiful girls

In life get all the jerks

You are a beautiful person

And don't you ever limit yourself to life

One day a man will be the luckiest guy

To have you as his wife

Kobi I know we never really talk

As much as we did as kids

But sometimes people grow separately

But our friendship will always live

I know you and I know your life

And sometimes it gets rough

But beautiful girl, you do me a favor

And never think about giving up

Because just because you were raised one way

Doesn't mean you are the same

Life is tricky and you have to be strong

Because really life it's just a game

And in this game you are a winner

Don't ever let anyone bring you down

Remember how we always used to laugh

Because your laughter is a beautiful sound

You have this little boy right now

That no matter what will look up to you

Be all that you can possibly be

For both of your sakes I want you to

Kyle I know there is a girl in your life

That's confusing the hell out of you

But please remember it'll be okay

God's never gives you more than you can do

Remember this and listen to me

Sometimes you have to let go

By this it means you love her the same

Even though you don't think so

Since 3rd grade I have loved you

And you mean the world to me

I know you're hurting and I'm here for you

I'm so sorry about Tiffany

Nick I want to thank you also

For all the times you talked to me

A lot of things you've made me realize

A lot of things you've made me see

You're wife is beautiful, Taylor is too

And I bet the one on the way

Will be just as beautiful as all of "your girls"

Growing more beautiful every single day

Joey my true brother to you

I never know what to say

I fuckin' hate you for all the times

From me you always strayed

You are smart as hell no matter what

And yet you let people bring you down

Don't you know you're the man in my life

Who is always supposed to be around

A dad that loved you left you here

To take care of your family

But then you run like a fuckin' coward

Because you're afraid of who you could be

You're 28 and somewhere inside you

Is a man waiting to shine

But I promise you that he'll never be here

Until you believe in yourself this time

To go out in the world, yeah you know it's hard

"Hard as fuck" you always say

But you can do anything you put your mind to

I love you Joseph James

My mom in my eyes is superwoman

I've never seen anyone like her

She can fall down and get right back up

There is nothing she can't endure

Mom you're always worried about

"Raising your kids right"

Listen to me mom you did a wonderful job

And I thank God to have you in my life

From my very first breath, to my very first step

You've been there by my side

I've always looked to you for answers

And you've been a wonderful guide

You've taught me all about life

But some things you leave up to me

You've been there when I've had my heart broken

Crying so hard I can't stand or breathe

But I want to thank you for always being

The kind of mom you've been

You're a beautiful person and I love you

My mother and my closest friend

To my dad wherever you are

Somewhere among the stars

I miss you more than anything

But I know you're never far

Because you're up in heaven

Looking down on me, your baby girl

I hope you're up there with a smile on your face

I hope I've made you proud so far

Because dad I never had you here

To teach me of these guys

Who take the role of "a man" in life

But are really assholes full of lies

I would give up my life for one day with you

To meet the man I never see

That when I look in the mirror everyday

The man who has green eyes just like me

Eric Charles you are my heart

And once was everything

Anymore I don't know what to say

Because honestly, what does it mean?

The day you told me that you no longer

Wanted me in your life

I stopped following what my heart said

And that day I honestly thought twice

A question remains that I need to ask you

After everything that we've been through

Even to care for someone you "once loved" or a friend

Honestly... How could you...

How could you go from loving someone

And supposed to be "in love"

To wanting nothing to do with him

And that easily giving up

Honestly you have always amazed me

In more ways than just one

But this this will never be forgiven or forgotten

Everything you have done

I guess it would be fair to say

That no matter what "I'll always love you"

But just because I tell you that

Doesn't mean I'll forgive and forget the things you do

I don't know what else to say to you

After all this you should know how I feel

But someone once told me "It doesn't matter what you say or do, when someone doesn't care and the love isn't real"

As of right now, what I've been through of 16 years of life

I've come to know what is hurt, pain, death, love and trying to survive

As of now I'm waiting patiently

For once it being my turn to smile

I'm tired of having a life with no meaning

Without love to make it worth while

Sometimes I wonder to myself

What it is I've done so wrong

To deserve such pain and hurt in life

To a girl who is this young

Or maybe it's just God's way of telling me

"Be ready for what's to come"

Because maybe for once in this darkened life

Things will no longer go wrong

I know my past, I've seen yesterday

And somehow I've made it through today

Tomorrow scares the hell out of me

For any other price I may have to pay

One person above all others

Is the one who keeps me alive

Remember God never gives you anything you can't handle

He'll give you strength to survive

Well God, this is me talking to you

You must think I am one strong person

But honestly, please, I am begging you

Please make my heart stop hurting

And that is not me asking you

"Please give Eric back to me"

If that's not the way it is then alright

I just ask for what is meant to hurry please

Because for now I think I've been through enough

Please give this heart of mine a rest

Right now I'm tired and running on empty

Some other time, give me this test

And throughout all this a lot of people have said

"After everything he's done, you're crazy"

Other people though has said the opposite

"I find it simply amazing"

After all this time no matter what was said or done

I've sticked by the person I loved

So God I hope I've made you proud

Because even you teach to never give up

That sometimes you have to be stronger

Ans still up for what you believe

Look at what You went through

But you continued to love and also bleed

So people can continue to say what they want

"They would have given up from the start"

But even to the end I gave the person I loved

As much as I could from my heart

No one really understands the true meaning of faith, until it's all they have to hold onto

And between my faith in us, hope for a future, love for him and strength from God

That was enough to get me through

But people say "You still don't have him, what did you get from all this"

Well here's an answer I proved to myself

Exactly what I can endure and accomplish

After all that has been said

After all that has been done

I can look back knowing I did all I could do

And with that I can tell you I won

I'll add more as I live

To all the people who are reading this

I hope to you I've been a good friend

Sometimes I may not exactly be

The best person that I should

But all I can give you is "I try my best"

There was one time I gave all I could

To a person who took it all for granted

And with that took away my heart

For me it's hard to trust anyone now

It's like going all the way back from the start

And if there ever comes a time

That I seem to be far away

I ask you please bare with me

And look over what I do and say

Because as of now hopefully

God will answer my prayer

I'll be able to be myself again

And be able to show people I care

It's horrible to feel numb all the time

And have my life completely ripped apart

It's hard for me to show any emotion

When I feel like I have no heart

So to you my friends this is my apology

I pray that you forgive me

I'm starting this life over (I need strength from you God)

It's time to be all I can be...